Images via H. Lorenzo
It’s the ball soup days of summer, so naturally I have to recommend purchasing one of these Intarsia ‘Double’ Pullovers from Y/Project. I’ve been brining in my own juices for the past few days and it’s only served to intensify my contrarian flavors. Life seems content to cook me low and slow, until my collagen starts to break down and I reach optimal tenderness. As long as I don’t dry out, I’m going to be delicious, downright succulent perhaps. I’d pair me with a nice, hoppy pale ale or even a crisp, malty pilsner. Nothing too bitter or overpowering; something sessionable, for sure. Never get drunk and commit cannibalism. That’s one of those cardinal rules by which everyone should abide. That and “Gas, grass, or ass. Nobody rides for free”. You should consider making that your catchphrase if you buy one of these 725 USD double shirts, since the back half is modeled after the drug rugs (also known by their more technical name “baja jackets” or their Spanish name “sudadera de jerga”) commonly worn by pothead skaters, collegiate weed dealers, and that one shady acquaintance your friend’s friend keeps bringing to parties. As Vice so breathlessly informs us, the baja hoodie has been appropriated by high fashion, with runway looks inspired by that guy in your dorm who smells like stale marijuana, fresh marijuana, and, somehow, future marijuana. And patchouli. I’m well aware that it’s a cliche, but there’s no way that fucking guy doesn’t smell like patchouli. Feel free to complain about my closed-mindedness at the next Phish show or hacky sack circle. I’m hot, sweaty, and ornery right now. I don’t care who I offend. I’m not a big fan of mint chocolate chip ice cream. And I think Bill Nye is overrated. Come at me, bro -RB
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