YOU GOTTA HONOR THE SLUB WITH THE HILL-SIDE NATURAL SELVEDGE JEANS

Images via Hammer + Awl

​These handmade Japanese Selvedge Denim Jeans from The Hill-Side are undyed and unbleached, so just make sure that the first stains you get on them are cool stains, like oil paint or Sasquatch blood. Try to avoid cliché stains, like bacon grease or anxiety sweat. This is hardcore stuff -- "12.5oz red-line selvedge denim, woven on antique shuttle looms in Okayama", to be exact -- not some potassium-permanganate-sprayed trash from Guangdong province (now we all laugh like we know what we're talking about), so you have to do it justice. You gotta honor the slub, that's what I always say. Or at least it's what I just said. I'm not sure how one actually goes about the process of coining phrases. No one wants to be Gretchen trying to make "fetch" happen. Our society needs to be some sort of official governing body for determining what is and what is not an acceptable colloquialism that isn't reddit or 4chan. And while Urban Dictionary does indeed exist, I have multiple entries on that website, so, ipso facto, it lacks legitimacy. Guilt by association as it were, which is itself an inductive informal fallacy. I feel like I'm rambling now. Am I rambling? Wait, where are you going? -RB