YMC BEACH JACKETS & HALF-EATEN SANDWICHES

Images via Couverture & The Garbstore

Humans of the interwebz, behold the fluffy ass majesty of this YMC Beach Jacket and see that it is good. This masterpiece of fleece (masterfleece) features a shawl collar (which is flames) and Corozo buttons made from the nuts of a tropical palm (palm nuts lol). Plus it makes you look like you’re wearing a bathmat, which is a style I unironically enjoy (Toftbo chic). You never know when you’re going to have to fully camouflage yourself on the bathroom floor of a broke twentysomething’s first apartment. In that case, you either have to buy this jacket or learn how to make your own ghillie suit, which seems like a pretty involved process. Fun fact: Australians call them “yowie suits”, due to their resemblance to the yowie, which is their version of the Bigfoot/Yeti/Sasquatch, not an exclamation to be shouted post toe-stubbing. What is it about big, mysterious, hairy men wandering through the woods that just seems to set the human imagination ablaze? I’m not trying to get into a detailed examination of the psychology behind persistent cryptozoological legends, but, damn, we love that shit. Rational assessment of the observable universe? Two thumbs down. Big ole hairy ape men? Sign me right the fuck up. We are strange creatures, far stranger than the myths we make up to frighten ourselves. The stink of the caves we crawled out of is still upon us. The reek of our primitive past clings to our species like mold on a half-eaten sandwich, forgotten in the back of the fridge. Clean your fridge, humanity! Clean your goddamn fridge! It’s starting to smell like old gym socks and crushing existential regret in there. Okay, good talk. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to hunt down the Mothman so we can discuss that shitty Richard Gere movie about him. Side note: why are we gendering transdimensional psy-creatures? Can't we just call it the Mothperson? Somebody get Gloria Allred on the case -RB