Images via Goodhood
Famotron, can you dig upon this Hester Sweatshirt from Scandinavian streetwear gawds Wood Wood? It’s got “Teenage Poetry” emblazoned across the chest, which is, I can only assume, either the name of an uber hip electropop act or a polite euphemism for awkward, basement-based, adolescent coitus. I’m nearly thirty years old, so I’m allowed neither to wear any garment bearing the word “teenage”, nor to acknowledge any young people bands. Even using the term “bands” in this context ages me, as bands are no longer a thing. It’s all about groups now. You can bet your boots that ABC’s new fucking Boy Band show is a product for and by aging Millennials, violently clinging to the tattered remnants of their suddenly beloved youth. To be fair, there are probably a few crusty Gen Xers in the mix as well, desperate to be confused with someone who uses Snapchat and knows what the phrase “sus AF” is supposed to mean. Oh shit, I feel a tangent coming on. I want to keep kvetching about dumb singing competition reality shows, but I can’t stop myself from sliding down this rabbit hole: does anyone else feel like the internet is detracting from weird local slang? I grew up routinely enjoying the sonic and linguistic pleasures of such lovely terms as “deadass” and “piff”, respectively “FR” and “gas” in the vernacular of the modern internet, and I would hate to think that they will ever be supplanted by invasive terminology. Invasive terminology is sus AF. Oh, no. It’s happening to me too. It’s like that part in Minority Report where Tom Cruise realizes he’s a robot and vows to be in movies forever. It’s right before and after that part where he runs and then rides a motorcycle really fast for no reason at all. Then I think he kicks someone probably. Soundtrack by Teenage Poetry -RB
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