It's 2016, there's a new Future mixtape, and I want you to buy this Wood n' Steel x Berkeley Supply Hackberry hatchet. Don't front like you don't want/need a hatchet in your apartment. There are only five of these Hackberry hatchets in existence, making them "extremely limited" edition. This little log-splitter features a bottle opener and a 90° spine that can be used to scrape a flint or fire steel in the event that your Nest loses its connection with the wi-fi. You could also use this hatchet for actual hatchet stuff, including, but not limited to, chopping kindling and repelling violent bear assaults. Will Leo finally get that statue this year? Will you finally buy a hatchet this year? I don't know. I'm not a mindreader; I don't have a crystal ball. But I'm quite certain that if I bought this hatchet, it would be used exclusively for captionless IG shots of me, wearing flannel and staring into the distance.
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