WHAT WOULD YOU PUT IN THE POCKETS OF THESE ALEXANDRE PLOKHOV PANTS?

Images via H. Lorenzo

The pockets on these Alexandre Plokhov oversized pocket cropped pants are so oversized that they put it in the name. Think of all the things you could carry in those cavernous pouches: suntan lotion, water bottles filled with water, water bottles filled with liquor, six to eight bananas, a pair of baby kangaroos. I'm not sure what you're all planning to bring to Coachella, but you can't go wrong with a pair of joeys. You never know when a couple of infant macropods will come in handy. Did you know a group of kangaroos is called a "mob"? They can also be called a "troop" or a "court", because one name could never be enough for a group of creatures with three vaginas. Did you know that, in the marsupial community, oral sex is known as "doing it human style"? Okay, that part is complete bullshit, but the three vagina thing is totally true. Also, male kangaroos have weird dicks. Happy Monday, everybody -RB