Images via Opumo
Fall is on the creep, fam, and it’s time to talk chore coats, specifically this Stormy Sea Chet Painter’s Jacket from Wax London. The end of summer means many things to many people. For parents and students, it marks the beginning of a new school year. For fashion nerds such as myself, it heralds the arrival of new AW (autumn/winter to the uninitiated) collections from innumerable clothing brands. For the fictional residents of the equally fictional Haddonfield, Illinois, it serves as a bone-chilling reminder of a certain masked spree killer’s reign of terror. I’d list more examples of different character types being affected by seasonal change, but the Rule of Three is ironclad and shall not be broken, under pain of failed comedy, which is a fate worse than death. Just ask Dane Cook. Yes, I know he’s in the middle of a self-proclaimed career comeback, but I recently sat through the entirety of Good Luck Chuck and I will hate him forever for his part in crafting that stillborn rat fetus of a film. I should mention that if you are a resident of Haddonfield, which you aren’t, because you are a real person, be careful wearing this Chet Jacket, lest the fabric end up being garment-dyed with your own blood. The Shape could be around any corner, behind any bush, waiting to turn you into a human knife block. Is it too early for a post filled with references to the Halloween franchise? You decide. Anywhoozles, Wax London named this painter’s jacket in honor of jazz great Chet Baker, not your friend Chet from Theta Chi, who did thirty-six months in prison due to his involvement in a hazing ritual that resulted in the death of a pledge. No one’s naming anything after that Chet. He almost cost the frat their charter. And he can’t play the trumpet for shit. I recognize that my last post was about Chads and this one’s about Chets and I’m fine with that. If you’ve got a problem with me making fun of stereotypical white guy names, feel free to start your own gently irreverent fashion blog and make fun of my name. Damn, I started this post by saying we’d talk about chore coats and I’ve done nothing but talk about Dane Cook, Michael Myers, and fraternity-related manslaughter, which is a shame, because this particular coat is straight up flames. Let me rectify this injustice with the quickness. Long time readers will know that I’m a sucker for cool pockets and those big ole patch pockets definitely deliver on that front. I’m also enamored of that powdery blue garment-dyed fabric. Sometimes a color/texture combo hits the mark so perfectly that all you can do is marvel at its greatness. I have no notes for you, Wax London. But I do have a note for Dane Cook: go fuck yourself. Just kidding homeslice; please hook me up with a role in your next terrible movie -RB
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