THE KIND OF GUY WHO WEARS A KIND OF GUISE BAM SHIRT, NOT THE KIND OF GUY WHO IS BAM

Images via Oi Polloi

Those sexy joints right above are Bam Shirts (available in tobacco, off-white, and olive) from A Kind Of Guise and, boy, are they hardy-looking. Like Tom-Hardy-looking. Like murder your boy after you're mauled by a bear hardy-looking. Leo totally blinked. You saw it right? I saw it, for sure. Mild spoilers for The Revenant. Should probably have mentioned that earlier, but you can't win 'em all. Anyway, these shirts are made in Germany, from heavyweight German corduroy fabric, by people who I can only assume are German. I don't know what the phrase "Bam Shirt" conjures for Germans, but, for me, it conjures either this or this. By the way, have you ever seen Family Therapy with Dr. Jenn? What a trainwreck that show is. No offense to trains or the wrecks thereof. The Lohans are nuts, the Dashes are annoying, and New York's mom may be the literal Devil. And damn does Bam Margera look like shit. I feel older just looking at him, gazing upon his haggard visage, grown soft and sallow with drugs, alcohol, and self-pity. He is indeed a quite pitiful creature. So you really want to be the kind of guy who wears a Kind of Guise Bam Shirt, not the kind of guy who is actually Bam. It's a subtle distinction that makes all the difference ​-RB