TENDER CO. ALLOTMENT COATS THAT WILL MAKE YOU WANT TO DO MANUAL LABOR

​Images via BlackBlue

This Type 937 Allotment Coat from Tender Co. (available in woad and rinse) makes me want to do manual labor and it's not at all easy to make me want to do manual labor. Especially if that labor takes place outside. I'm not sold on the outdoors. It's dangerous out there. There are venomous snakes and parasitic insects and fish that can swim into your pee hole. Okay, that last one turns out to probably be bulshit, but still. The world is a scary place. Now, I'm not recommending agoraphobia, but I'm also not not recommending it. I haven't looked at all the data, but I'm betting that the incidence of wild animal attack is far lower among agoraphobes than the general public. Luckily, there's never been a better time to be a shut-in. Thanks to a bunch of rich and soon-to-be rich nerds, you don't really have to leave your house anymore. There's an app for almost anything you could ever need: food, booze, sex. Why go out and risk dying in a car accident or having that one passive-aggressive barista write "Brain" on your cup?He knows your name isn't Brain. No one's name is Brain.  What a fucking asshole that barista is -RB