SUNNEI V-NECKS & WHAT BRENT WOULD DO

Images via Neighbour

I’m going to strongly recommend copping this Shirt with Knitted V-Neck from Sunnei, especially if you’re an avid fan of lawn sports like croquet or bocce. You know, like fancy lawn sports. Not lawn darts or cornhole. Horseshoes can go either way. Pretend your name is Chad or Chet or Brent and imagine what game you’d play on an idyllic summer day, out on Nantucket or some similar posh ass vacation destination where the word “yachting” still means going out on a really nice boat and not when celebrities on the downswing moonlight as high class prostitutes. Chad, Chet, or Brent will never steer you wrong. Except when he puts driftwood on the beachside bonfire. Yeah, the colors are super cool, but the toxic dioxins are not. They’re just carcinogenic. You tell this to Chad/Chet/Brent, but he doesn’t listen. He cracks another beer and turns up the trap music (played semi-ironically, of course). He always gets this way when he drinks. He’s been getting drunk a lot lately. Ever since last summer, when we accidentally vehicular manslaughtered that random fisherman. Then we found all those crabs in the trunk of Chad/Chet/Brent’s Audi. I wonder if all that stuff is connected. Anyway, back to this shirt: it’s one hundred percent cotton and made in Italy. It’s the kind of shirt you wear when your second car is a Vespa and your first car is also a Vespa. It’s the kind of shirt you wear when -- hold on, I think someone’s at the door. Let me go check. Weird. No one’s there. I could have sworn it sounded like... never mind, where was I? Oh yeah, this is the kind of shirt you wear when -- shit, there it is again. So sorry about all these interruptions. I’ll be right back ​-RB