SUBLIME ROLLABLE PAPER HATS, SEINFELD & SHADOWBOXING STRAWMEN

Images via No Man Walks Alone

I wholeheartedly believe these Rollable Paper Hats from Sublime (available in natural, navy blue, and off-white) are super fashionable and cool despite the fact that I would look like a total asshole were I to wear one. Holy fuckballs, I wish my head supported a wider assortment of hats, so that I could explore and enjoy the entire spectrum of headwear. Unfortunately, heads, much like the life they occupy, are not always accommodating. I mean, how accommodating is your head? If that question is too personal, feel free not to answer. You should answer though. Your head is your most public of body parts. It’s not personal at all. Although it does contain the engine of your personhood and it’s got your face on it. So it’s a little personal. Okay, it’s settled: your head is a little personal. Let’s close the book on that issue. No need to debate it ever again. What’s that you say? There never was any debate? I’m just tilting at windmills? Shadowboxing strawmen? Mixing the shit out of metaphors? No matter what happens in the rest of this post, I’m certain that we’ll be leaving with more questions than answers, so please stop asking questions. There’s nothing to see here, least of all me in a hat. On a more practical, actually germane to this topic note, it’s good to have a rollable hat, for traveling purposes. Hats are generally tough to pack, due to the non-hat-shapedness of the vast majority of bags. What’s the deal with that? *Seinfeld voice* Why can’t I have a hat-shaped bag? Why no hat-shaped bag? Soup Nazi, yada yada yada, other references. I would say something about Kramer, but even the thought of Michael Richards conjures up uncomfortable memories. See? Now I have to end this post with the stink of virulent bigotry hanging in the air. And all I wanted to talk about was hats -RB