SEIKO PROSPEX DIVER SPB087 & SWEATY BUSINESS

Images via Hodinkee

Look out, folks, because I’m about to wax poetic about this Prospex Diver SPB087 from Seiko, cosigned by the good people at PADI (the Professional Association of Diving Instructions) and emblazoned with their signature blue and red colors on the coin-edge bezel. No watch-related post would be complete without an extended enumeration of technical particulars, so let’s get that out of the way, shall we? The SPB087, like most of the modern Prospex series, takes inspiration from the classic Seiko divers of the 1960s and ‘70s, specifically the 1968 Hi-Beat diver (ref. 6159-7001). The case is stainless steel, with a 44mm diameter, 13.1mm thickness, and 200 meters of water resistance. Inside it is the 6R15 caliber, a 23 jewel in-house movement with a 50 hour power reserve, beating at a solid 21,600 vph (vibrations per hour). The 6R15 features manual winding and hacking seconds capabilities, in addition to Seiko movement mainstays the SPRON 510 mainspring and the Magic Lever self-winding system. If your eyes glazed over while reading the last four sentences, I totally understand. Getting into mechanical watches is an intrinsically geeky fascination, one that can seem absolutely alien to any outsiders unfortunate enough to get caught in conversation with its adherents, which is incidentally the situation you find yourself in right now, dear reader. We few, we happy few, who wish to discuss the ins and outs of handset styles and lug-to-lug distances are a self-selecting bunch of weirdos and, oh no, I’m doing it, aren’t I? Quick, think of something culturally relevant to go on a tangent about. Thanos memes? Too played out. Trade war with China? Too depressing. Jeffrey Epstein being suicided by the Illuminati because he was going to confess to providing our reptilian overlords with young, nubile sex slaves for the purpose of creating saurian-human hybrids? Bingo. Do you think it’s an accident that Epstein spent 6.5 million USD funding the creation of the Program for Evolutionary Dynamics at Harvard University? Do you believe it’s merely by circumstance that Epstein donated a total of 100,000 USD to Bill Richardson’s 2002 and 2006 gubernatorial campaigns in New Mexico, the state which just so happens to be the home of Roswell and Area 51, not to mention Epstein’s own “baby ranch”? I’ll bet dollars to donuts that if you bust out your divining rods and do some dowsing, you’ll find that said ranch is situated right on top of intersecting ley lines. I’m perspiring quite vigorously as I type this, because unspooling a crazed conspiracy theory -- I mean, revealing the truth -- is sweaty business. I can’t help but think about the people on Instagram who only read the first half of this post and remain blissfully ignorant of the feverish madness that followed. I like to think they missed out -RB