REPENT! RAF SIMONS BRINGETH THE #GOATCOAT

Images via UNION

Question time: is this Raf Simons canvas patch and eyelet coat a great coat or the greatest coat (#GOATCOAT)? This is the type of joint that earns you a flawless victory on any Project Runway challenge and, depending on the season, a catty backhanded compliment from Michael Kors / Zac Posen. While it's coming down the runway, all the other designers will rub your shoulders and whisper little asides like "The color is amazing" or "Look at that movement" or "Oh my God, it's so good, I hate you so much". Unfortunately, most of those very same designers will turn up in the confessional, talking all sorts of shit about you and how your face is in desperate need of an open-palm bitch-slap (OPBS for short). As for Raf Simons, I used to be one of those cocksure philistines, braying my ignorance into the void of the internet. I didn't get the clothes or the hype they attracted. I just didn't get Raf. But now I do. I've accepted Raf into my heart and learned to never second guess tha gawd. The new me understands why you might drop nearly three racks (2778 USD, to be specific) on an oversized wool coat. And now if you'll excuse the new me, I have to go give my face a massive OPBS to repent for the sins of the old me 👋🙏👌-RB