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Images via Railcar Fine Goods
Let’s talk strategy, dear readers: in order to optimize stealth and maximize combat multipliers, we need to equip all the Kyles and Naruto runners with these Ace long sleeve Japanese duck red line selvedge shirts in preparation for the upcoming storming of Area 51. These gorgeous shirts come courtesy of the fine folks over at Railcar Fine Goods and happen to make perfect desert camouflage, which will come in handy when you and your bois hop the fences and begin the assault. The buttons and buttonholes feature lockstitch construction, so even if you break a few threads while clapping them alien cheeks, you don’t have to worry about anything unraveling, except for your increasingly fragile sense of reality. Now, if you thought for a second that I was going to miss out on this soon-to-be fucked out meme, you’re a blithering idiot, because I’ve been senselessly shoehorning specious xenomorph conspiracy theories into this ostensible fashion blog since day one. Finally, a meme has trended its way right into my wheelhouse and I’ll be damned if I’m going to miss this fleeting opportunity. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for dropping the ball on the whole “They did surgery on a grape” thing, although I did recently learn that the machine that did surgery on a grape (Intuitive Surgical Inc.’s da Vinci Surgical System) also did surgeries on people and a few of them went very fucking poorly, prompting a product recall and even a “Warning Letter” from the FDA. Indeed, while the specific medical and moral implications of using robotic technologies to perform minimally invasive surgeries are well above my pay-grade and significantly out of the scope of this website, it doesn’t take a certified bioethicist to know that machines are merely tools. They have no foibles, no insecurities, and no foolhardy desires to raid secretive military bases in order to engage in sexual activity with extraterrestrials. Man, this is one of those posts where I feel really bad about barely saying anything about the garment pictured above, especially because Railcar is a brand I truly admire, but how much can one say about such a rad shirt? I mean, y’all can see it. It’s straight up flames. If the dope pocket game alone isn’t enough to convince you to cop, what the fuck are a few words going to do? Unrelated: do you think it would be possible to release Monster Energy Drink from a crop duster? Asking for a few friends -RB
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