POLO RALPH LAUREN PREPPY BEAR KNITS & REGIFTED BEARD PRODUCTS

​Images via The Hip Store

Fam, if you're not fucking with this Preppy Bear Knit from Polo Ralph Lauren, then I cannot help you. That's not a judgment thing; it's just a reality thing. This joint is fucking magical. If you don't like teddy bear sweaters, then we are not down like that. I feel like I should go on some semi-relevant tangent about wearing the likenesses of childhood icons, but I'm too full of Thanksgivingness for that. I'm going to share some random thoughts instead. The following brain ejaculations come in no particular order. Buying nice clothes for modest discounts, from the comfort of your own home, is a solid way to spend Black Friday. Tawny port is expensive, but also worth it. There are literally hundreds of beard oils on the market; I have tried about twenty-three of them and almost all of them smell like pine trees and distilled masculinity. Beard-related companies are always giving their products away and, hence, my beardless male friends are always giving me products from beard-related companies. That's the circle of beard life. Nothing goes to waste. If you don't have a beard, you can trust that there is a man somewhere, using both your shares of beard products. Stabilizing the beard continuum. Balancing the beard force. Maintaining the beard joke that satisfies the rule of three. I'm too tired and full of food to successfully complete jokes. You see that? I went on a tangent after all. I think it's time to declare victory, end this post, and go rub some oil into my facial hair -RB