OIL-COATED KAPITAL TRI-P RING COATS & THE UPCOMING STREET SHARKS REBOOT

Images via The Bureau

Feast your famished eyes upon these Kapital Tri-P Ring Coats (available in orange and green), for they are some of the most perfect garments ever featured on this madman's minscrawl of a blog. Yes, dear reader, I write about Kapital way too much. Thank you for noticing. I've even written about Ring Coats at least once before. Oh, you noticed that too? Your attention to detail is unparalleled. Did you notice that these ones are made from oil-coated cotton canvas or that they cost 1318 USD a pop? Don't fixate on the price. The price is (semi-)irrelevant. You will likely only buy 0-1 Ring Coats in your entire lifespan, so why not buy the most expensive one? I know that logic doesn't actually wash, but it still makes sense. Makes sense to me. Break your piggy bank. Dip into your retirement funds. Take out a high interest loan from a predatory lender. Do what you've got to do. I feel like we're getting bogged down on the price, when I already established that it's irrelevant. Shit, now I'm completely off track. My mind went from predatory lending to loan sharks to Street Sharks. Remember Street Sharks? I feel like now's the time for a dark and gritty live-action reboot of Street Sharks, starring Dwayne Johnson, John Cena, or some combination of the two. If they're already making that movie, then I only think it's fair that I get some sort of producer credit. Break me off a little piece on the back end. I'm not trying to be greedy, but don't fuck me here, Hollywood -RB