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If you want to be one of the #KewlKids, then I suggest you snatch a dope Varsity with Patches from Off-White, because then and only then will you be permitted to sit with them at their table in the cafeteria and/or join them to smoke stolen cigarettes behind the gymnasium. Those sound like real things that actual young people would do, right? I need you to tell me, because I'm completely out of touch with the youth. I might even officially qualify as one of Teh Oldz™. The fact that I have a Snapchat account is a point in my favor. The fact that I barely understand how it works is a point against. I'll let you know if I suddenly start receiving snail-mailed literature from the AARP. In the meantime, you can help regain our collective youth by dropping 1313 USD on a sick jacket that's capable of physicalizing all your angsty rebellion. Then you'll just need to find a jukebox, post up next to it, and let that sweet, sweet social acceptance roll in. Again, this is simply a suggestion. After all, I can't run your life for you, now can I? Wait, can I? I'm seriously asking now -RB
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