Images via Union
Fam, I’m about to drop a solid rack on these Exit Boots from OAMC and commence a campaign of ruthlessly stomping on the toes of all my enemies. Dear enemies, you remember that delightful Off-Broadway show STOMP? Well, you better, because it’s going to be exactly like that, but focused entirely on your toes. Make sure to read the word “enemies” in a 2Pac voice. Drinkin’ Hennessy! Exactly. You might think 970 USD beige boots would be inappropriate for use in sprees of vengeful violence and you might be right. Will these boots still look good when coated with a fine mist of human blood? Only time will tell. Yeah, motherfuckers, welcome to the reborn TTAG Blog. It’s lean, mean, and about as grimdark as the actual state of affairs in this godforsaken country. This version of the TTAG Blog is the fashion website equivalent of that one good part of the Batman v. Superman trailer when Batman was all “Do you bleed? YOU WILL!” and shit. Wait, I take that back; under no circumstances should you associate this blog with that film. You know what would have made that movie better? If 2Pac had been in it. Just CGI his ass right in there. Or give him a call down in Cuba or wherever the fuck he’s hiding out. Maybe he’s over at Richard Simmons’ house, also being held hostage by the maid. Make a podcast about that one, why dontcha? Regardless of the current location of Tupac Shakur, I can guarantee you this: the TTAG Blog will continue to bring you the extremely expensive and outlandishly ostentatious garments you’ve come to expect, in the curiously cryptic and puzzlingly pointless manner you’ve come to tolerate. I make this pledge in good faith, knowing full well that I might immediately fail to honor it. I mean what I say, even when I’m lying. Does that make me a bad person? Think about the health and safety of your toes before you answer that. My stomping shoes are in the mail -RB
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