NO CANDY BEFORE DINNER

Just got back from the dentist and nothing puts me in the mood to write about expensive clothes like having another man's hands in my mouth for an hour. As such, I'm compelled to fall back on something with self-explanatory excellence, like this Falki zip from the new Monochrome feature recently released by perennial favorite Norse Projects. I could wax poetic about the sensual curve of the hem on the extended rear panel or opine on how the collarless design and hidden side seam pockets contribute to its overall aesthetic of uncluttered beauty. Or I could just go off on a tangent about future-me wearing this cardigan while giving my grandchildren fistfuls of Werther's Originals. Their parents will tell me not to spoil the kids' appetites, but fuck them. Giving candy to small children before they eat their dinner is one of the most important perks of living long enough for your offspring to reproduce.