NEW BALANCE x NORSE PROJECTS LUCEM HAFNIA M770s & MORE FODDER FOR BILL MAHER'S GOOGLE ALERTS

Images via Très Bien

Jeepers! Take a gander at these New Balance Lucem Hafnia capsule M770s (available in Navy Brown and Rainy Day Olive), which were designed in collaboration with the almighty Norse Projects. Hypebeast already covered these, so this preamble will be a redundant refresher for the dedicated fuccbois among you. These kicks are made in England, so they very likely smell like rain, even when they are fresh out of the box. That may be a broad generalization about England and the United Kingdom at large, but think of all the other ones I could have made, most of which are far more offensive than mocking the weather: food, teeth, Brexit, et cetera. I feel like rain was the most above the belt joke possible. Why are we even arguing about this? None of us is Bill Maher. Unless Bill Maher has a Google Alert for his name and reads every single article he’s mentioned in, like Luke Perry in that old episode of Family Guy (“The Story on Page One”; Season 2, Episode 19). I just looked it up and on July 18th, that episode will be 17 years old, meaning it’s now old enough to start getting drunk and high in its friends’ basements. Soon that episode is going to make some really bad decisions. I honestly hope none of them have any lasting consequences, but I must tell you that I don’t like the look of that twenty-eight year old it’s been dating. Call me old fashioned, but I believe age is more than a number. Sometimes it’s a healthy indicator of who you should not be having sex with [Editor's note: with whom you should not be having sex]. There are many numbers that are perfectly fine when combined and some that almost immediately result in the *Law and Order noise*. You don’t want to be on the receiving end of a visit from Ice-T a.k.a. Odafin "Fin" Tutuola or any of the other dedicated detectives that make up the elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. Executive Producer Dick Wolf -RB