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Yo dawg, Neighborhood heard you liked chairs so they put a chair in your chair and called it the Sunset Chair. This beastly seat is a collaboration with outdoor adventure equipment experts Helinox and it costs 436 USD. I know that sounds like a lot of money, but think about it: you could do anything with your butt cradled in a chair like that. You could direct the summer's biggest blockbuster or pen the next great novel or hunt the most dangerous game. The world is your oyster, insofar as you can pry open its shell, slice its adductor muscle, and devour it whole, while it still quivers with life. Answer me this: if I give up showering, can I grow oysters in my bathroom? I can probably fit a couple of tumblers in the tub, salinate the water, do the whole thing. That should work, right? Bathtub-farmed oysters. I'll call them "Tub Thumpers" in honor of that terrible song. My ethos: food can never really be local enough, but making it in your own crap dungeon is a good start. I don't know about you, dear reader, but I am honestly confused at how I got to this point. I like to think there's an alternate timeline in which this post makes total sense, but I do not have a good grasp of multiverse theory. Somewhere in another universe, another me is very disappointed with this version of me. I wonder if we all have that in common -RB
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