NEEDLES PAPILLON COWBOY SHIRTS & LOOTING JAWNZ

Images via Goodhood

Prepare to have your expectations defied, folks, because this Papillon Embroidered Cowboy Shirt from Japanese rebuild gurus Needles is, in fact, not a rebuilt item, but an intact, first-use garment. It’s made of 100% polyester twill and features mother of pearl buttons and plethora of contrast piping commensurate with its classic Western styling. The name “Papillon” derives from the pair of embroidered butterflies that adorn the chest (papillon means “butterfly” en français), not from the time it spent incarcerated on French Guyana’s infamous Devil’s Island. Don’t @ me if you don’t get that reference: I wrote it and I barely get it myself. Side note: why do prison islands seem to be equal parts terrifying and romantic? Alcatraz, New York in Escape from New York, Los Angeles in Escape from LA and also probably real life in the near future. Shout to Snake Plissken and California’s inevitable destruction by a combination of natural disasters and/or the ravages of man-made climate change. Shit’s going to go down like a Roland Emmerich movie. Which one? Who knows. No matter what, the outcome for the populace and the film it most closely resembles will be absolutely awful. Once the chaos starts, you’ll likely have a window of anarchy during which you’ll be able to loot hella jawnz, before martial law is declared and National Guardsman start shooting people in the streets just for vaping. If you find a Needles stockist, you might even be able to boost one of the above shirts. At least then you’ll be the sharpest dressed motherfucker in the FEMA camp. I smell sulphur. Do you smell sulphur? I really want to talk about how global warming is actually a byproduct of scientific experiments performed by the reptiloid extraterrestrials that inhabit the Earth’s hollow core, but that would probably make me sound a little bit crazy and I know y’all trust me to keep a level head -RB