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12/1/2016 Comments

MODERN ANTHOLOGY x KNICKERBOCKER MFG. CO. HANDCRAFTED BANNERS & FREE CAKE

​Images via Moden Anthology
These handcrafted banners from Knickerbocker Mfg. Co.("Welcome Buddy", "Howdy Partner", "Handshake", and "Cobble Hill Boxing Academy") are available exclusively through Brookyln's own Modern Anthology and will cost you between two and four Mason jars filled with twenties, which, I can only assume, is the way hipsters measure quantities of cash. If you want to hang one on the wall of your own humble abode, but haven't recently started a moderately successful line of artisinal jams, you might have to make some sacrifices. That's right, people, it's vegetable-tanned leather belt-tightening time, so sell your fixie bikes and start buying slightly less expensive mustache wax. Not to stereotype or anything. I have a two-year old beard and a half case of PBR in the fridge; I ought not to risk the structural integrity of this particular glass house. My most hipstery dream is to open a bar called "The Contrarian", where the bartenders say no to whatever drink you order and make the complete opposite. Order a beer, they make you a cocktail. Order a cocktail, they pour you a beer. Order a cranberry juice and they throw your sober ass out. No one wants to drink under that judgemental gaze. Take that weak shit to your local Applebee's, bro. Tell them it's your birthday, then ask for free cake. They won't give you cake, but they will definitely think you're a douchebag -RB
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