MAKING UP FOR LOST TIME AT IMAGINARY BOARDING SCHOOLS IN RRL BASEBALL JACKETS

Images via UNIONMADE

Buy this Cotton Baseball Jacket from RRL to make up for not going to boarding school. Unless you went to boarding school, in which case you are excused to go play water polo or whatever. We should concoct a fake boarding school and all pretend we went there. We can work together on the admissions website, alumni magazine, Wikipedia entry, etc. Plant a few stories in local newspapers about fraternity pranks gone awry, throw a couple of fake freshman events, collect some donor money and blow it on beer and more baseball jackets. This is a perfect plan / plot to a mid-aughts Todd Phillips movie. Unfortunately, it's all but guaranteed that the whole thing will blow up in our faces, leaving us disgraced and in significant legal trouble. Then one of the most handsome among us will undergo an existential transformation that enables him or her to give a rousing speech and/or find a loophole in the system, while saving us from experiencing pretty much any consequences for our actions. If we're lucky, we'll all get blurbs in the epilogue, where the audience finds out what happened to us after the events of the story. "Jim went on to open a bakery, where he sold foot-shaped croissants. Two months later, he was killed in a freak foot fire". I heard they went out to David Spade for the lead, but he was too busy fucking blonde models. My cousin's psychic does readings for one of the producers' assistants' sisters-in-law, so you could say I'm in the inner circle, yeah -RB