LEMAIRE CONVERTIBLE PARKAS & EATING CAT HAIR

Images via Neighbour

This Convertible Parka from Lemaire costs 808 USD, which is quite expensive for a parka, but dirt cheap for a convertible, so it’s pretty much financially neutral. They call it “convertible” because you can take off the sleeves and turn it into a 50-Cent-worthy cargo vest. So if you wake up feeling a little more Curtis Jackson than Curtis Lazar, this piece has you covered (except for your arms, which will literally not be covered). Even the chest pockets are removable, that’s how convertible this thing is. How much more versatile could a garment be? Not much more is my guess. I don’t have any hard facts to support that, but, as a large portion of the American electorate would say, “I know it in my heart”. My heart knows a ton of things. It’s full of knowledge. My heart is a genius. Way smarter than your heart. Your heart is a dumbass. It’s not your fault though; this country’s cardiovascular education system is in a shameful state. It is a genuine national disgrace, on par with the prison system or Dennis Rodman’s acting career. Ever seen Double Team? I have. As one might suspect, it is not good. Nonetheless, I’m compelled to recommend it to the smart-hearted among you, who know how to enjoy a nice, idiotic, piece of shit movie, every once in a while (or with great frequency, as I do). Never apologize for your ironic taste in bad film and television, dear reader. I shan’t. I recently started watching Strange Addiction on Hulu and I have no compunction about that fact. I admit it to you freely and without fear or guilt. I’m just living my truth, which happens to involve watching a show about people who eat cat hair and maintain intimate relationships with a harem of pool floaties. Don’t you dare judge me. You can, of course, judge people who eat cat hair, because that shit is fucking gross -RB