HITMAN WEARS DIME LOGO HOODIES

Images via Très Bien

Holy shit, man, these Dime Logo Hooded Sweatshirts (available in blue and anthracite) are so badass that Agent 47 wears them. Note how the drape of the hood artfully masks the barcode tattooed on his neck. Consider the roominess of the kangaroo pocket and the ease with which he might conceal a pair of stainless steel pistols inside it. These are the key criteria world class assassins think about when they make sartorial decisions. You think you just wake up, toss on a random outfit, and then go choke some henchmen out with a fiber wire? No. I don't know what you were thinking, but the answer is no. I bet when TV personalities tell you to stay tuned for your local news, you actually do it. You can't see it, but I'm shaking my head so fucking hard right now. Full disclosure: I am trying to neg you, dear reader; is it working? Have I piqued your interest? Have I tickled your pickle? Dude, I just realized that I don't even own a hoodie. Should I buy one of these joints? Is this a good-for-the-goose-good-for-the-gander situation or what? Am I tasting my own medicine here? I know I'm severely mixing my metaphors, but am I about to eat crow on my hoodie purchase recommendation?  Tune in next time for the stunning conclusion -- no, the answer is no. I will likely not buy this hoodie, but that should not dissuade you. You must have the strength to do what I cannot. Wow, can you believe this started as a Hitman reference? What the fuck happened? -RB