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Summer is on the way, but I don’t give a shit, so we’re going to talk about this Övik Knit Crew from Fjällräven, because it’s all blue and blue-looking. And it’s flat-knitted. And it kicks ass. Tomorrow’s my birthday, so it’s a little late for you to send me one. However, if you insist on buying one for me, you can just forward me the shipping confirmation and we’ll call it good. Send me some oatmeal cookies or some shit too. I’m hungry. Whatever you send won’t get here in time to sate my current hunger, but I assume I’ll continue to be periodically hungry, at least in the near future. I don’t own a crystal ball, but I’m nonetheless confident in that last statement proving true. I’m turning fifteen, by the way. Can you believe it? Thanks for asking. I’m looking forward to taking Driver’s Ed. this fall and then getting my learner’s permit. I hope I’m in Mrs. Bernoulli's class; everybody knows Mr. Crocker is such an epic ballbuster. I like fidget spinners. How’s this stereotypical teenager character working for you guys? I think I’m nailing it. This post is really taking me back. I’m getting nostalgic for times I never lived in, reliving events I never experienced, missing people I never knew. It’s a trip down False Memory Lane. Remember when Susan B. Anthony, D. B. Cooper, and that lady from Flip or Flop conspired to assassinate Gerald Ford because Bugs Bunny told them to? Some say that Bugs Bunny was actually the devil in disguise, but I doubt they can know that for sure. The only certainties in life are death, learner's permits, and sweaters. I want to wear this sweater to bed and float away on a sea of nocturnal perspiration. The concept of comfort is more important to me than comfort itself. Case in point: I’m still hungry -RB
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