ENUMERATING THE IMPORTANT APPLICATIONS OF OPINEL FOLDING KNIVES

Images via Standard & Strange

If you're going to get stabbed in the back, you'd better hope your attacker uses one of these No. 8 Beechwood Folding Knives (available in carbon steel and stainless steel) from storied French knifemaker Opinel. These wooden-handled "peasant knives" were first developed in 1890 and have remained virtually unchanged since 1955. Plus, the blades are a mere 3.25 inches long, which is under the blade length limit for concealed carry in most jurisdictions (please check local statutes before you go all Crocodile Dundee on 'em). Think of all the important applications a knife like this has: slicing, dicing, stabbing, whittling, removing the foil from wine bottles, stabbing, cutting bread, cutting cheese, and even stabbing. There are probably others that I'm missing, but I hit the most crucial ones, like stabbing. Look, you never know when the Purge is going to start in earnest. And don't pooh-pooh the possibility of the Purge. We think it's impossible, but that's what we thought about Trump getting the nomination. I wonder how the Donald feels about the Purge. I don't have any evidence to support this assumption, but something tells me he'd be all for it. Just a hunch -RB