ENGINEERED GARMENTS BUTTON SHAWLS ARE NOT FOR IMPERIALIST XENOMORPHS

Images via HAVEN

It's time for you to man the fuck up and start wearing fly drapery like this Button Shawl from Engineered Garments (available in herringbone jersey and wool knit plaid). Why are you holding out? Are you afraid of what people will think? Are you that thin-skinned? Trick question: your skin is thick and scaly, because you are a reptilian. Don't try to deny it. That's what they all do. Almost everybody I've ever met is a reptilian. I'm starting to think everybody but me is a reptilian. I don't know why I'm telling you this; you know you're a reptilian as well as I do. You know who's definitely also a reptilian? Joe Biden. My evidence? He uses the word "malarkey" in non-ironic fashion. Only reptilians use "malarkey" in non-ironic fashion. That is a known fact. He's also listed as a reptilian on "The Reptilian Watch - Who's Posing as Human?" over on Biblioteca Pleyades, which is damn hard to argue with. Damn hard. Plus, there's some pretty fucking compelling video evidence out there. I assume you clicked through that link, watched the video, and are now as terrified and incensed as I am. Oh, wait, I just realized you don't feel fear, because you are an either an imperialist xenomorph or one of their Luciferian allies. Well, let me tell you something, you shapeshifting reptoid: you will never get your slimy Draco claws on me or my freedom. On the off chance that are actually human and have no idea what I'm talking about, I can only recommend that you wake up. Also, start wearing fly drapery. See? It all comes full circle. Like a goddamn reptilian saucer ​-RB