COTTWEILER SHEAF BLOUSONS & LLAMAS

Images via Neighbour

I'm not a huge proponent of beige -- thanks, in part, to its unsavory connotations, such as overwhelming blandness and Gwyneth Paltrow -- but the beige of this beige sheaf blouson from Cottweiler is the right kind of beige, if there even is such a thing. I don't want to dwell on the topic of whether it makes you look like a sheep, but I think it makes you look like a sheep. It may be my Welsh blood bubbling up, but I find something distinctly ovine about this garment. Despite my phrasing, I don't consider that to be a bad thing. In fact, it may actually be a good thing. Sheep are noble creatures, proud, with square pupils and the ability to scream like people. According to the Food & Agricultural Organization (FAO), an institution I became aware of mere seconds ago, there are over 1 billion sheep on Earth.  While that figure may alarm the more ovinophobic among you, I think it speaks volumes about the value of those creatures. You know how many llamas there are in the world? No, because nobody gives a fuck about llamas. Who cares that llamas can be used to guard herds of livestock (including sheep) or that they copulate while lying down? Not I. That much I know. Hey, you think Gwyneth ever dreams of dressing like a sheep or of the world llama population? I just figure she dreams only of 15000 USD vibrators -RB