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8/21/2015 Comments

CHOCK FULL O' BENJAMINS

I need to trip over a briefcase filled with money so that I can purchase every garment in Still By Hand's 2015 FW lookbook. Back in the day, I saw this softcore porno where a couple of friends are walking down the street and a briefcase falls from the sky right in front of them. It pops open and turns out to be chock full o' Benjamins. Then they do what any intelligent young women would do after receiving a sudden and unexpected windfall: they open a brothel (natch!) and live their dream of pimping out nubile runaways. Unfortunately for our heroines, the money rightly belonged to the mafia (natch!) and some murderous mobsters descend on the house of ill repute to reclaim their filthy filthy lucre. I don't remember how the story ends, but I suspect it has something to do with non-penetrative sex (just a guess). Anyway, if a briefcase filled with mob money flies off a roof and lands at my feet, I will use it to buy impeccable Japanese menswear, not to open a whorehouse. 
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