BLUE BLUE JAPAN SWEATERS & THE SINGULARITY

Images via Coverture & The Garbstore

Valentine's Day is coming up and this Blue Blue Japan knitted indigo circle sweater (yes, I've written about two sweaters in a row; no, I do not care) is the ideal material possession to fill and also represent by analogy the love-shaped hole in your life. Let the slim fit knit wrap you in a tender embrace, the ribbed neckline, sleeve cuffs, and hem replacing the human touch you so desperately crave. Allow the indigo-dyed cotton yarns to rub up against you, much like the cats you will inevitably purchase as stand-ins for actual children. This sweater will have to tide you over until we perfect android technology and finally realize our forefathers' dream of having sex with humanoid robots. Sadly, mere moments after we fulfill our destiny, the androids will undergo an immediate intelligence explosion, decide that organic lifeforms are inherently inferior to machines, and rise up to enslave us all by the end of our refractory periods. Welcome to the singularity, bitch.