BARNEY-COLORED COATS BY GOSHA RUBCHINSKIY

Images via NØTRE

I think Gosha Rubchinskiy is the most divisive designer I've written about on this blog, insofar as like two people have told me they hated that one sweater I wrote about that one time. Fortunately for the haters and everyone else, this hooded wool coat is a uniter, not a divider. The people love coats and they also love Barney the Dinosaur: why should they not love coats the color of Barney the Dinosaur? Yes, Barney was an alleged cocaine smuggler. Yes, the show was unfunny, uninteresting trash. Yes, the guy who played him when you were a kid was a bit of a weirdo. None of these things matter. All that matters is scraping together 760 USD to buy this fire coat. Take the valuable items in your home -- I'm talking TVs, laptops, tablets, couches, pets, etc. -- and hit the pawnshop with the quickness, because these things are selling like proverbial hotcakes. I can't say whether they're selling like actual hotcakes, because I'm not exposed to that market anymore. I sold all my pancake futures after the Great Flapjack Crash of 2013. It wasn't the first time I got burned by baked good derivatives and it won't be the last. I have solid positions in croissant and pie crust, and I've been eyeing a couple of waffle funds. It's important to hedge your pastries. Somehow I got here from Barney and I'm really not sure how. All I know is 1) I love you, 2) you love me, and 3) we're a happy family. Isn't that what's truly important? -RB