BARFLY FRIDAY: IMPRESSING MIGOS WITH YOUR COCKTAIL KINGDOM RESERVE BARSPOON

Images via Cocktail Kingdom

It's Friday: the day the drinking begins. Unless you're a recovering alcoholic, in which case it's just yet another day to take one at a time. Stay strong. Enjoy your cranberry juice or whatever. Anyway, this is the Black Diamond Barspoon from the Cocktail Kingdom Reserve collection. It's made of solid silver, has a bigass Swarovski Crystal on the end, and is of course lined with a fistful of the titular black diamonds. It costs 2750 USD. You know, this whole post might be easier to stomach with some ridiculous trap music in the background. I recommend "Buyin Em" by Migos. Let its delightful preposterousness wash over you. See? Much better. Obviously, dropping nearly three bands on this spoon will not make your Manhattans any more Manhattany or your Old-Fashioneds any older or more fashionable. You can get a perfectly good barspoon for less than 30 USD and it will stir liquids in an identical manner to its iced-out counterpart. But what if Migos' tour bus breaks down right in front of your house and you invite them in for drinks? How will you demonstrate your propensity for flexing without a blingy barspoon? Come on, dear reader, think ahead. You can't disgrace the Young Rich Nation like that. What kind of host are you? -RB