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BALLS OF MAMMOTH PROPORTIONS
Hooray, gay! Today, the Supreme Court ruled that same-sex marriage is a right guaranteed by the Constitution. Good times, America. I won't wax poetic, as I'm sure plenty of #influencers are dropping generation-defining quotes about this landmark case on your Twitter feed right now. I will point out that Scalia's dissent is a bunch of butthurt bullshit, so exquisitely lacking in self-awareness that it must have required balls of mammoth proportions. As such, I must recommend that he pick up these Rick Owens drop-crotch trousers, in order to accommodate his elephantine testicles:
Scalia is worth somewhere from 1.25 to 3.01 million dollars, so he can afford to spend 1,165 USD on a pair of glorified sweatpants. Just imagine how hard he'd be flexing on the other Justices, dropping dissent left and right in these Rick joints. In fact, through the use of some pretty sophisticated computer graphics, I've been able to render a realistic image of what that new Scalia alphet might look like:
Damn, that's on some ILM shit right there. Keep that visual in mind as it could very well be the future of Supreme Court fashion. Only time will tell. Happy weekend, everyone.
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