Images via Oi Polloi
Let’s all give a big Owen Wilson “Wow!” for this PL Dungaree Short Sleeve Over Shirt from And Wander, because it’s so easy to love, much like Owen’s hit comedy You, Me and Dupree, a film whose only flaw is the missing Oxford comma in its title. Any movie with a Wikipedia entry featuring a subsection entitled “Steely Dan response” is worthy of lavish critical praise. I doff my cap to the entire cast and crew, for they are the true heroes of our society. You hear that, firefighters? Back to the shirt: it’s made in Japan from “quick-drying PrimaLoft fabric”, which sounds pretty badass, even if I’m not entirely sure what that entails. It’s got underarm ventilation holes, which is super clutch for sweaty boyz like me, and a carabiner loop on the chest pocket, which is super clutch for people who need carabiner loops, whoever those people happen to be. I’m not a mountaineer, nor do I know many people who would self-describe as mountaineers. Are you a mountain man, dear reader? How long is your beard? How scratchy is your flannel? How sharp is your hatchet? Do you know the Muffin Man? What is the nature of your relationship with the Muffin Man? Are y’all close? Would you consider him an acquaintance or a friend? A close friend? Is he going to be one of your groomsmen? I only ask, because I’m supposed to RSVP in the next few days and I don’t know if I can make it if that fake cupcake ass son of a bitch is going to be there. I can’t even walk down Drury Lane anymore, for fear of running into that rat bastard. I mean, we all know the Muffin Man, but I know him better than most. I know him better than I would like to. I know secrets that fucker would probably kill to keep secret. You think those are blueberries you’re eating? Think again, fuckstick. Hope your aforementioned hatchet is sharp enough to cut through quick bread, bitch -RB
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