ALPHA INDUSTRIES REPLICA NASA MA-1 FLIGHT JACKETS & WHAT NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON WOULD WEAR

Images via Hemingway & Sons

If you cop one of these MA-1 NASA Flight Jackets from Alpha Industries, you will attain instant legend status in my book for shizzle. I’m sorry, I meant to say you will instantly attain Instant Legend Status™ in my book, For Shizzle, my forthcoming memoir slash self-help guide. Look for it at the supermarket and wherever super shitty books are sold. Man, these jackets are hella cool and, although it doesn’t totally matter, hella authentic. Alpha Industries has been around for a long ass time -- since 1959, to be exact -- and a good portion of its history has been spent manufacturing actual military garments for the Department of Defense. Luckily for civilians, AI also sells their wares to yellow-bellied homefronters like me. The above version of the MA-1 is dedicated to the Space Shuttle, which is pretty sweet, despite the indisputable fact that the Space Shuttle program was an unmitigated fuck-up in almost every conceivable way. The high school I attended is named in honor of Dr. Ronald Erwin McNair, who was killed in the Challenger disaster. Nonetheless, I find myself waxing nostalgic about the good ‘ole days of space travel from my youth, which, like most good ‘ole days, are complete bullshit. I want to buy one of these things and tweet a bunch of pictures of me wearing it to Neil deGrasse Tyson. An authentic NASA Flight Jacket seems like the kind of garment NDGT would dig on. I don’t know the man personally, but he is my spirit animal, so I think that entitles me to make wild, unsubstantiated claims about his sartorial preferences. If that’s so wrong, than I don’t know what’s right anymore. Let’s just build one of those city ships and journey to the stars already. I know the threat of xenomorph quasi-rape puts some people off, but I heard a rumor that there will be a Supreme store on the city ship and I plan to be the first fuccboi in space -RB