ADIDAS X WINGS+HORNS CAMPUS EQUALS FIRE EMOJI

Images via Undefeated

Yeah, buddy, I fuck exceptionally hard with these adidas Originals x wings+horns Campus sneakers (available in Night Navy and Shift Grey), because I like my fashion collaborations to involve proper application of the FOIL method. Imagine two trains. If the first train leaves Milan, traveling at a rate of 154 kilometers per hour, and the second leaves Paris, at a rate of 143 kilometers per hour, how high will Future be at the Met Gala? Y’all see Migos in their matching Versace tuxes? Can’t get more on brand than that, without committing a litany of drug-related felonies on the red carpet. Real talk: I’m super stoked that rappers are ascendant in the fashion world. I get great satisfaction out of watching A$AP Rocky walking Gwyneth Paltrow up the stairs, on some real Tom Ripley type shit. Don’t go boating with that dude, word to Jude Law’s face. And peace to Philip Seymour Hoffman. I don’t have a witty quip for that. I just miss PSH like a mofo. He made everything better. Maybe I should do a +Things That Are Good Blog Red Carpet Special for one of these important occasions. Would any of you read that? Me neither. There’s no way I could stay on topic for an entire event. Five celebrity outfits in and I’d already be six Law and Order: Special Victims Unit references deep. Shit, this post is ostensibly about a pair of shoes and it contains virtually zero content about them. Let’s try to amend that: these Campuses cost 150 USD and the upper is “constructed from a single piece of premium leather”. Do with that information what you will. I’m off to brainstorm more ways to bring up SVU in completely inappropriate situations. This is how I choose to spend my adulthood. Tommy? Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, Tommy - RB