NIKE ACG JACKETS & BEN AFFLECK CYBORGS

Images via Bodega

Yas, queen, these Nike ACG Jackets (available in Dark Atomic Teal / Hyper Jade and Hyper Grape and, no, I’m not bullshitting you about the names of those colorways) are all the rage and I’m leaping like a migrating salmon onto their bandwagon. Examine my gills to check for freshness. Technical garments are waters into which I’ve only dipped the tippy tips of my little toesie woesies, but I’d still consider myself to be an enthusiastic observer, if not a full-fledged fan, of the style. Technology is good. Clothes are good. Why not combine these two these things that are good into one thing that is double good? That’s some sound ass logic right there. Why do the science yourself, when you can let your clothes do the science for you? My biggest fear is dying before we develop the technology to resurrect me as a cyborg. What’s the point of even living if your afterlife isn’t just another life, lived as a cyborg? Thirty years as a sentient flesh bag and I already can’t wait to become a person who can be accurately described as more machine than man. I’m sick of remembering my passwords; please hardwire computers to my brain as soon as that is something that is possible. I bet Ben Affleck has the same desires. Maybe when he becomes a cyborg, they’ll cover up that wacky tattoo of his that everybody seems to hate. I’m not saying it’s a fantastic tattoo. I’m just saying that I try to put as little energy as possible into celebrity tattoos. Except for right now. Right now I’m putting a fair amount of energy into the subject. I’m a hypocrite. I’m sorry. Everything I’ve ever said is invalid. Light your torches and sharpen your pitchforks. I’ll meet you at the old castle. Bring a bag lunch -RB