Images via Son of a Stag
It's a little known fact that if you buy this DO11E band collar coverall jacket from Denime, you will technically become an old-timey train engineer and will have to leave your current life to live on the rails. Clothing is commitment. You are what you eat? No. You are what you wear. I'm wearing head-to-toe denim, so apparently I'm Canadian. I don't make the rules; I just use them to govern every aspect of my existence. You'll learn the value of rules when you're working through the night to heap fuel on the fiery heart of your locomotive. Pro-tip: the most effective renewable power source for trains is poverty-stricken children. I learned that from Snowpiercer. Spoilers for Snowpiercer, I guess. If the world ends and you have to ride on a train that perpetually circumnavigates the globe, you're definitely going to want to have a great jacket to keep your increasingly frail body warm. Who cares if that jackets cost 333 USD? What does money matter when you're eating bug bricks and getting oppressed by Tilda Swinton? Again, spoilers for Snowpiercer, I guess. I'm just stoked Captain America was there to kick everybody's ass. Or I guess I would be stoked, if I weren't Canadian. See? It got weird for a second there, but I brought it back around. Sometimes this shit almost makes sense -RB
Images via Beard Balm
Dear reader, if you or your male-identified companion sport facial locks, a.k.a a beard, then you should do yourself or him a favor and cop some Beard Balm (available in original, naked, heavy duty, and heavy duty naked). It's made in Detroit, which is still technically part of the United States, as far as I know. I feel like my phone dictates what news I see, so if Canada invaded Michigan, I might never find out, unless the subsequent occupation involved craft beer, for some reason. I'm so dependent on my phone, it's only a matter of time until I'm claimed by tech neck. On a serious note, this is a product for which I can personally vouch. I just bought my first tin and I can say without hesitation that this stuff is my favorite beard-care product on the market. And if you think that I leaped/leapt to that conclusion without first extensively researching and testing other beard balms, then you don't know me or my beard. I thought we were closer than that, dear reader. I thought we really had something here, but you had to go and ruin it. Now you can never be part of my #BeardFam -RB
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